It feels strange to comment on something so vulnerable and intimate, so I'll keep it brief. Your writing was moving and it resonated despite no shortage of differences between our lives, so thank you for the gift of sharing it.
This was gorgeous. That 'hit by a train' feeling in the middle of Supervalue - I know it. You read something (or a lack of something) on your phone and suddenly your heart is in your stomach as you run through the mundane motions of... GROCERY shopping...
Re. not feeling fully Irish: I was so surprised when I discovered your parents were Irish, because you don't have even a hint of Irish in your accent (I wonder whether you did as a kid). But, your pronunciation of the country - you say it like an Irish person! i.e. Not 'IREland' but 'ARland' :)
This feels a lot like commenting on someone's diary yet here i am (it's my first time on substack).
"Tethers and constants are made up. You won't, can't and shouldn't have anything forever".Perhaps it's not your most most original thought but the masterful way you worded it felt like punch to the throat in the best way possible, i actually wrote it on my own physical journal.
Also, as a third country kid myself, you have no idea how much i relate to the whole 'question that cannot be resolved'.
Thank you so much for sharing this Zach, you're a beautiful writer!
i realize this is a very late comment but this is amazing. i can't get enough of your writing. i love how detailed and observant it is, and yet detached and critical.
It was a captivating read, I couldn't stop reading. One thing really stood out to me.
The two of you were "talking through each other". I found this figure of speech straightforward and at the same time subtle. With so little words I felt exactly what you were talking about. I keep thinking, how it must feel, to want to talk to someone, to tell stories to be heard, and to hear another, but an every attempt your words go straight through him, just like his words through you. When I imagine this feeling, I get cold.
It was a captivating read, I couldn't stop reading. One thing really stood out to me.
The two of you were "talking through each other". I found this figure of speech straightforward and at the same time subtle. With so little words I felt exactly what you were talking about. I keep thinking, how it must feel, to want to talk to someone, to tell stories to be heard, and to hear another, but an every attempt your words go straight through him, just like his words through you. When I imagine this feeling, I get cold.
“I felt no compulsion to say I told you so. Only: I know it hurts terribly, but you are back in the land of the living, and I can’t wait to see you—who was (is) so good at living—do it again, fully, soon.”
“Sometimes when he spoke I would tune out, and he could go on forever like that. Talking through me. But our trade was solid: he had my attention, I had his image.”
This was achingly beautiful and wow, The Ice Age, is so resonant for me, too.
2023 is equal parts a feeling of being stuck in the ice, the relief of a thawing gush of water, and then the fleeting balm of cosy warming interrupted by stabbing, still-frozen shards of memory that tether and pull me under. This motif is so evocative and chewy.
I’m so grateful to be reading your work here having adored listening to your voice on audio and video – thank you.
And I am very much on the same page as you with the not being Irish enough. Nothing like being told that to your face. But I’m not wholly the nationality of my birth, my father, and my upbringing either so where the fuck do I belong? It’s the gripping undertow for me of feeling like in one place I’m not that and then in the other I’m not that either. It’s simultaneously a sense of being permanently adrift while also, ironically, in almost all other places, now being able to swiftly find footing wherever I am even though I know it eventually fades and I’ll need to move on again. Everywhere and nowhere is home because now home is a place that doesn’t truly exist in a way I thought it could. As I get deeper into this kind of nowhereness of place and locational identity, it’s like the strangeness and disorientation is becoming its own unexpected kind of comfort complete with surrendering to the ebb and flow of the feeling, too.
Getting asked where you’re from and adeptly constructing a straightforward explanation that feels true to oneself yet doesn’t invite follow-up questions is its own conversational journey.
This was gorgeous! Thought provoking and clearly well written. Your writing was deeply emotional while also being thoughtful and critical (that’s the only way I can think to put it lol😭).My favorite parts were the sentiments of legacy and how we remember those no longer in our lives. I much look forward to reading more entries from you.❤️
It feels strange to comment on something so vulnerable and intimate, so I'll keep it brief. Your writing was moving and it resonated despite no shortage of differences between our lives, so thank you for the gift of sharing it.
I'm so honoured it struck a chord with you <3
This was gorgeous. That 'hit by a train' feeling in the middle of Supervalue - I know it. You read something (or a lack of something) on your phone and suddenly your heart is in your stomach as you run through the mundane motions of... GROCERY shopping...
Re. not feeling fully Irish: I was so surprised when I discovered your parents were Irish, because you don't have even a hint of Irish in your accent (I wonder whether you did as a kid). But, your pronunciation of the country - you say it like an Irish person! i.e. Not 'IREland' but 'ARland' :)
We welcome you, fellow Irishman!
thank you!! that means more than you know :)
this writing is so vivid and beautiful omg
thank you for reading it, tom!
Loved starting my day with this. "Talking through me" and "the day like a pool day, hollowed out at the end" 🤌🤌
thank you for sharing maria <3 I love hearing which lines resonate, always surprises me
🤎
This feels a lot like commenting on someone's diary yet here i am (it's my first time on substack).
"Tethers and constants are made up. You won't, can't and shouldn't have anything forever".Perhaps it's not your most most original thought but the masterful way you worded it felt like punch to the throat in the best way possible, i actually wrote it on my own physical journal.
Also, as a third country kid myself, you have no idea how much i relate to the whole 'question that cannot be resolved'.
Thank you so much for sharing this Zach, you're a beautiful writer!
i realize this is a very late comment but this is amazing. i can't get enough of your writing. i love how detailed and observant it is, and yet detached and critical.
Wow! I love your style! You make mundane, simple stuff so beautiful! I love the part about the Irish Rain - such a creative but astute take!
It was a captivating read, I couldn't stop reading. One thing really stood out to me.
The two of you were "talking through each other". I found this figure of speech straightforward and at the same time subtle. With so little words I felt exactly what you were talking about. I keep thinking, how it must feel, to want to talk to someone, to tell stories to be heard, and to hear another, but an every attempt your words go straight through him, just like his words through you. When I imagine this feeling, I get cold.
It was a captivating read, I couldn't stop reading. One thing really stood out to me.
The two of you were "talking through each other". I found this figure of speech straightforward and at the same time subtle. With so little words I felt exactly what you were talking about. I keep thinking, how it must feel, to want to talk to someone, to tell stories to be heard, and to hear another, but an every attempt your words go straight through him, just like his words through you. When I imagine this feeling, I get cold.
Gorgeous writing, I laughed and cried.
“I felt no compulsion to say I told you so. Only: I know it hurts terribly, but you are back in the land of the living, and I can’t wait to see you—who was (is) so good at living—do it again, fully, soon.”
“Sometimes when he spoke I would tune out, and he could go on forever like that. Talking through me. But our trade was solid: he had my attention, I had his image.”
👏👏👏
This was achingly beautiful and wow, The Ice Age, is so resonant for me, too.
2023 is equal parts a feeling of being stuck in the ice, the relief of a thawing gush of water, and then the fleeting balm of cosy warming interrupted by stabbing, still-frozen shards of memory that tether and pull me under. This motif is so evocative and chewy.
I’m so grateful to be reading your work here having adored listening to your voice on audio and video – thank you.
And I am very much on the same page as you with the not being Irish enough. Nothing like being told that to your face. But I’m not wholly the nationality of my birth, my father, and my upbringing either so where the fuck do I belong? It’s the gripping undertow for me of feeling like in one place I’m not that and then in the other I’m not that either. It’s simultaneously a sense of being permanently adrift while also, ironically, in almost all other places, now being able to swiftly find footing wherever I am even though I know it eventually fades and I’ll need to move on again. Everywhere and nowhere is home because now home is a place that doesn’t truly exist in a way I thought it could. As I get deeper into this kind of nowhereness of place and locational identity, it’s like the strangeness and disorientation is becoming its own unexpected kind of comfort complete with surrendering to the ebb and flow of the feeling, too.
Getting asked where you’re from and adeptly constructing a straightforward explanation that feels true to oneself yet doesn’t invite follow-up questions is its own conversational journey.
This was gorgeous! Thought provoking and clearly well written. Your writing was deeply emotional while also being thoughtful and critical (that’s the only way I can think to put it lol😭).My favorite parts were the sentiments of legacy and how we remember those no longer in our lives. I much look forward to reading more entries from you.❤️
With much love,
Tanner
thank you so much lake, I really appreciate hearing which sections resonated with you the most